We are here to serve your needs.
We offer our clients a variety of services including: Individual Therapy, Marital Counseling, working with Adolescents, and assisting with High-Conflict Divorce Resolution
My educational training was in the area of “Object Relations Theory and Therapy,” and I am resourceful in using this as my foundation for understanding most of the psychological struggles that people bring into my office. Very simply put, it is the understanding of how to participate in and create goodness in one’s life, and to not lose track of it (the good) when things go south. Or, maybe all of life has seemed to be pretty much “south,” and we have to discover, or even create, a new way of seeing and being.
I am just finishing up some extensive work with a wonderful person who came for to me for help. Sometimes, the work is slow and can take time to absorb and take root (“introjection” and “internalization”). She has stated that she has finally found a way of being that sees good, hope, and positivity, especially within herself. And, this goodness doesn’t come and go any longer, like something on the end of a yo-yo string, depending on how things seem to be going from moment to moment!
Life isn’t simply black or white- good or bad, but is a wonderful blended “swirl” of positives and negatives that can actually work well together, when perceived and managed properly. It’s all about discovering a new way of seeing and being, and that’s what we are after in therapy!
Hi-Conflict Divorce Work
Heated divorces, with issues on the table that are important, yet difficult to resolve, are often referred to as “High Conflict.” These are the splits that can go on for years, when they should be completed in months. Children are deeply effected, even damaged, the divorcing individual themselves are changed and hurt forever, and the toll can be very expensive, in every way.
I have been skilled in the practice of mediating and counseling in these situations, to resolve issues quickly, to protect precious children and adolescents, and to help with parenting and co-parenting concerns. Couples who choose to go in the direction of counseling and/or mediation almost always get through the divorce process happier, healthier, and wealthier than if they go the route of a heated legal litigation. The emotional health of their children, and their relationship with their children is usually much better, as well.
Most often, the individuals should employ their own attorneys, not to direct the divorce, but to assist in filing forms and in addressing legal technicalities that might otherwise “fall through the cracks.” The couple is usually able to, and capable of, coming to agreements with the proper therapeutic guidance that keeps tensions low and heads clear.
One of my clients is now sixteen, and she came to me when she was thirteen, shortly after her father’s sudden death. Her mother, had been remarried and had another child. My client had begun to show some troubling and self-destructive behavior, and had attempted suicide a couple of times. She was grieving, felt lost- like she didn’t belong anywhere, and was slipping into a deep, hopeless depression. She had pink hair, and that seemed to cheer her.
We’ve been working together, weekly, since then. Her mom recently commented that she now has her daughter back, doesn’t worry about her doing self-harm, enjoys the companionship of her teenager, and believes that it is because her daughter has been able to connect with me in a safe, helpful, and encouraging way. In my office she has been able to let it out, sort through it, and “repack her emotional toolbox.” Her hair color has moved through the spectrum, and is again, pink. It suits her!
Adolescents need love, safety, and understanding just like any person. The difference is that they don’t usually know what they need, or why, and tend to “act out” their sadness, fear, and confusion until they learn to identify it and talk about it. Connecting with them requires a “knack” that doesn’t involve pretending that I am “cool,” and am like them. I am simply interested in them, and know some secrets about life and living that can be helpful!
I’ve been married a long time, have kids, and grandchildren, and have learned some things about relationships. Mostly, I’ve been a good student of relational dynamics- what goes into making a good partnership. That involves understanding, commitment, and good communication. No couple is like any other, so the therapy challenges are in learning to understand styles of communication, the hot issues in each others’ lives, and the deep individual needs, desires, and goals that come with the relational territory. I have found that when two people, who desire to hang in there and make it work, do the work, and make the commitment to keep at it, no matter what, “magic-time” happens between them. That’s when goodness and “rest” begins to reappear. It is a joy to participate in facilitating the hard work that is so worth it! I also do a lot of pre-marital, and pre-engagement counseling with those who are planning marriage, or hoping to move in that direction.